Blendedfamilies707's Weblog

What Would We Do Without Children

blendedfamilies707 — Mon, 29 Oct 2007 19:51:13 +0000

When I first was with my new spouse- we would have every other weekend free- and this was new to me-

My son’s father had just come back into his life and I was used to having my boy with me most of the time, save for the occasional sleep-over.

I remember the first weekend alone, he asked me-

“Do you want to go to the fairgrounds and watch the fireworks?”

And I asked, “Why? We don’t have the kids with us.”

He laughed, and said I was so used to being a mother, I had forgotten how to be an adult.

This is so true of so many of us moms- we lose ourselves in being a mom- it becomes our whole identity.

Having time for yourself is imperitive towards being a good parent-

Halloween

blendedfamilies707 — Fri, 26 Oct 2007 15:58:47 +0000

My son is still on the fence about a Halloween costume- he’s 13 now- so, this will probably be the last year for him

– they grow up so fast!

Being Paternal

blendedfamilies707 — Fri, 26 Oct 2007 15:56:30 +0000

How can a father who sees his son every other weekend and never really calls in between not feel like he is missig out?

My son’s biological father was in and out of his life and then split for 6 years due to a drug problem.

He finally came back around almost 2 years ago-and takes his son every other weekend.

I didn’t force the issue with my son- I made sure he was OK with it and wanted to see his father.

But as far as the mundane day to day tasks of being a parent, both the other parents are not in the picture much at all.

What is it about people that they can give the responsibility of being a parent away? I could never imagine it- I guess I am just not wired that way.

Love My Kids

blendedfamilies707 — Fri, 26 Oct 2007 15:34:20 +0000

I just wanted to say to the world how much I love my kids! I am very proud of my son who brought home a 3.4 GPA yesterday!

We had a lost bunny rabbit toy mishap last night-lol- the thing is like half an inch high- little Pokemon looking thing- needle in a haystack it was!

Little girl was very distraught over losing it- so much so she barely ate dinner-

Her Dad found it outside in the front yard of all places!

Kids and their attachments to little doo dads- !

Being Maternal

blendedfamilies707 — Thu, 25 Oct 2007 15:49:45 +0000

I consider myself to be very maternal- I had my son when I was 19- and was very happy to be a mom- I am a nurterer- of children, animals and adults at times- I never once contemplated not being a mother- and could never understand women that would have children and then later walk away from the responsibility- I dnt mean teeage mothers who are so young that they can’t handle the responsibilty alone, or women who choose to give their child up for adoption to a childless couple- both of these circumstances take great courage.

My stepdaughters mother- who had her at age 36- has taken it upon herself to move out of the county 40 miles away and to cut her time from 50% to maybe every other weekend if we are lucky. She calles every couple of days to talk to her daughter- only to talk about herself and never asks her about her school or her personal life at all- she has no involvement with her schooling and is not even offering to help pay some kind of extra support-

Instead of coming to get her daughter this Friday, she is going to a concert with a “friend” – one of many boyfriends that have been in and out for the last 2 years- I think it’s selfish and mean to tell your child that you are going out somewhere without them instead of spending time with them when you havent connected in 2 weeks.

I don’t understand it as a mother-

anyone have any advice?

Bonding

blendedfamilies707 — Fri, 19 Oct 2007 15:50:14 +0000

so, how do you bond with a child that isn’t biologically yours? I was very nervous at first because I didn’t want the child to think I was trying to take her mother’s place- and this is a dilemma I think many of us “steps” face. Where to draw the line? My spouse and I don’t push labels on either kid- we are a family, but we don’t say- “you need to call me Mom or Dad” – we are aware of our roles as caregivers and parents- but there is a place where I get nervous that I am overstepping-

blendedfamilies707 — Tue, 16 Oct 2007 19:07:51 +0000

Flaky Mothers

blendedfamilies707 — Tue, 16 Oct 2007 19:00:18 +0000

So, how many of you have to deal with flamboyant, flaky mothers? My little one’s biological mother is one of these. I feel bad for the kid sometimes-although she has proven to be the type of child that “goes with the flow”. Although, she is now reaching an age (10) where most kids really start to see what’s going on. I think she takes it as it comes- and I know I can;t change someone- but it really bothers me sometimes. How do you all deal? Your thoughts…..

Dealing with the exes

blendedfamilies707 — Tue, 16 Oct 2007 18:58:05 +0000

Hi All,

Curious to know how all of you deal with exes. Some of you may have a very harmonious relationship with ex spouses, others of you may not- I myself, have dealt with many issues from either side of the ex pool. Primarily, addiction and self serving attitudes. One I get along with OK now, but it took many years. The other, I am civil to for the sake of the child, but I do not approve nor like the way they run their life. My spouse and I both have the children 95% of the time, and it can be hard trying to balance life, work and quality time. I honestly feel though, the children are best with us because they are in a stable environment.

blendedfamilies707 — Tue, 16 Oct 2007 18:01:57 +0000

Hello Everyone-

I decided to write this as a way to meet other women who are in a blended family. I have a 10 year old stepdaughter and a 13 year old son- I am interested to hear from other women how they deal with the day to day of being in a mixed family.